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Post #101 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 07:58:33 31/01/13 [Quote]
johndoe666 [31303]

Level: 3,000
Posts: 349
ok, here's a cool 1 i heard yesterday...
yo mamma so ugly she turned medusa into stone...
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Post #102 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 08:31:34 31/01/13 [Quote]
ALMIGHTY_PAIN [24169]

Level: 362
Posts: 741
anyone heard the lollipop salesman joke :P
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Post #103 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 12:47:19 31/01/13 [Quote]
{{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} [18758]

Level: 1,001
Posts: 143
The medusa one iz quite a funny twist lol the stoner getz stoned LMAO. N nope I haven't heard the lollipop salesman joke yet. How does it go? biggrin
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Post #104 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 13:07:06 31/01/13 [Quote]
{{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} [18758]

Level: 1,001
Posts: 143
[quote=Cyclops_O_]uh.......i thought this was suppose to be "best joke".......... blink [/quot K here's a "best joke" for ya... I made up alil while bak N it goes... Yo mamma so O'BEAST(Obese) when she fell off the sofa, she made GOD fall from heaven. But when GOD finally realized he waz safe, he landed on her FAT AZZ as a trampoline to bounce bak to heaven. angel Amen angel
Last edited by {{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} at 13:12:10 31/01/13, edited 1 times in total.
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Post #105 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 18:56:57 31/01/13 [Quote]
Sub zero [41849]

Level: 724
Posts: 51
Lol that's a good one thumbup1
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Post #106 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 19:17:01 31/01/13 [Quote]
~PIMPDADDY~ [17729]

Level: 2,098
Posts: 5,894
no here is a good one and in the spirit this forum was created lol

A guy goes to a whorehouse and tells the madam he only wants to spend 5 bucks. The madam thinks for a bit, then says, "Betsy. She's down the hall, last door on the left."

The guy walks down, sees Betsy -- she's not the best looking, but she would do. He puts it in and it's the worst feeling he's ever had on his dick -- like sandpaper and teeth. He pulls out and tells her. "Um. something's wrong, can you do something about that?" Betsy crinkles her face, then says, "Why of course! But it will run you another five bucks." She pockets the fiver and goes to the bathroom and is back in no time.

The guy puts it back in and now, it's the complete opposite: it's the best feeling he's ever had, and finishes in a flash. Panting, he asks her, "oh my god... that felt amazing... what did you do??" Betsy smiles, and says, "for the extra five bucks, I pick the scabs."
Last edited by ~PIMPDADDY~ at 19:18:14 31/01/13, edited 1 times in total.
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Post #107 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 20:57:00 31/01/13 [Quote]
{{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} [18758]

Level: 1,001
Posts: 143
EEwww :-& ! Picked Scabz From Friction Burn scared . HaHaHa biggrin . That Waz Maaaadd Sick But Craaazy Funny! lol . I had no clue where that waz goin til thee end LMAO good sh!t lol thumbup1
Last edited by {{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} at 21:03:39 31/01/13, edited 2 times in total.
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Post #108 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 21:08:13 31/01/13 [Quote]
{{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} [18758]

Level: 1,001
Posts: 143
[quote=daffy duck]Lol that's a good one thumbup1 [/quot HaHa Thanx Partner! biggrin biggrin
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Post #109 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 23:18:13 31/01/13 [Quote]
~BOONDOCK SAINT~ [19148]

Level: 951
Posts: 2,981
damn only a handful of these things are actually good. "thats what she said"

heres on for you guys. your mom, your mom, and your mom. what does that equal.
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Post #110 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 01:05:26 01/02/13 [Quote]
johndoe666 [31303]

Level: 3,000
Posts: 349
yo mama so stupid she put a lipstick on her head just to make up her mind...
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Post #111 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 03:20:41 01/02/13 [Quote]
{{BLG}}K13ptoKilla 14U {{Nice To See Things Kickin Back Up}} [18758]

Level: 1,001
Posts: 143
thumbup1 Sweet Metaphor thumbup1
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Post #112 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 08:39:19 01/02/13 [Quote]
~PIMPDADDY~ [17729]

Level: 2,098
Posts: 5,894
Little Johnny is staying at his grandmother's house for the weekend with his parents. He walks into their room in the middle of the night and wakes his mother. His mother says "What is it Johnny?". Little Johnny says "Grandma has a shrimpy"! His mother looks at him puzzled. "She has a WHAT?" Johnny says "A Shrimpy!" His mother has no idea what little Johnny is talking about. His mother says "Come show me what you're talking about". Little Johnny leads his mother downstairs where his 85 year old grandmother is lying sprawled out on the sofa in her night-gown. Her gown is wide open and so are her legs. She is sound asleep. Johnny says to his mother "Look mommy, Grandma has a shrimpy". He points to her vaginHis mother laughs. "No, no, Johnny, that's not a shrimpy. That's her vagina". Little Johnny looks up at his mother and says "Wow! Sure does taste like shrimpy".
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Post #113 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 09:30:32 01/02/13 [Quote]
johndoe666 [31303]

Level: 3,000
Posts: 349
yea, and there is only two things in this world that smells like fish...and one of them is fish devil2
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Post #114 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 04:52:52 13/07/13 [Quote]
johndoe666 [31303]

Level: 3,000
Posts: 349
yomama's so ugly when she entered ugly contest they refused her saying no profesionals
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Post #115 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 00:09:04 14/07/13 [Quote]
~PIMPDADDY~ [17729]

Level: 2,098
Posts: 5,894
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";

Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.

Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.

"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
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Post #116 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 09:23:35 14/07/13 [Quote]
~PIMPDADDY~ [17729]

Level: 2,098
Posts: 5,894
Little Johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, "Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby."
The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, "Bow your head, Dad. Can't you see we're having a funeral?"
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Post #117 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 23:51:55 14/07/13 [Quote]
Anihlee Of The Seventh Knife [54617]

Level: 122
Posts: 15
ANNUAL CHECKUP

During her annual checkup, the attractive woman was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. “Doctor…” she replied shyly, “I feel uncomfortable undressing in front of you.” “All right,” said the physician, “I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re done.” A few moments later her voice called out from the darkness, “Doctor, I’ve undressed. What should I do with all my clothes?” “Put them on the chair, on top of mine.”
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Post #118 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 23:53:48 14/07/13 [Quote]
Anihlee Of The Seventh Knife [54617]

Level: 122
Posts: 15
SEX THERAPY

Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex. “You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems”, Linda told her friend. “That’s amazing!” Mary replied, “So have Tom and I. We’re thinking of going to a sex therapist”, said Linda. “Oh, we could never do that! We’d be too embarrassed!”, responded Mary. “But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?”

Several weeks passed, and the two friends met for lunch again. “So how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?”, Mary asked. “Things couldn’t be better!” Linda exclaimed. “We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it’s better than it’s ever been!”

With that endorsement Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. “I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you,” he said. “But doctor,” Mary complained, “you did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can’t you give us some help? Any help at all?” “Well, OK,” the doctor answered. “On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios.”
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Post #119 Subject: Re: jokes
Posted at: 18:17:00 15/07/14 [Quote]
pp1s forsale bank for rent [95905]

Level: 169
Posts: 3
facepalm
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